JUST A MOMENT IN TIME

Today I am feeling so discouraged... some moments in time open a door for hurting, and I feel so overwhelmed by sadness... My struggle to keep me above the waters begins, and, sometimes, over and over again...

God is always my strength, and in Him I find the courage to go forward... even when I feel like a wounded warrior in battles of life, I move on... It is hard, though... all I need now is to rest so that these negative thoughts that want to conquer some space in my mind, can stop for a while and my body, mind and soul recover. 

Just a simple moment can trigger thoughts of my past that I do not want to have... 

Today I just need to let me go with the sunset and wake up renewed by the dew of a new dawn.

I AM NOT AN ACCIDENT!

God says to me through the Prophet Isaiah 44:2a in the Torah: "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born". Wow!, how wonderful it is to know that my birth was not a mistake! My mother wanted a baby boy, so when I was born, I was a disappointment for her. And from that day onwards I was forgotten... no hugs, no kisses, no sitting on her lap, no hearing "I love you"... I was abandoned at birth... I was a child in the family who never had a family... I grew up alone, with no identity, thinking that I was a mistake and, therefore, guilty of something I did not know what it was. Until today, I wondered why I was alive. I could not see any meaning for my existence. Amazingly, reading chapter 2 of my book today, God is telling me clearly, that regardless of my parents wanting me or not, were good or not, I was emotionally abandoned or not, God had a plan in creating me. Lovingly He was taking care of me even before I was born. This fills my heart with so much joy and my life becomes so meaningful!

Looking into my past, I can see I am a living proof of His love and care. I would not have made it if this was not a reality. I moved from Mozambique to Portugal, which was a kind of foreign country for me, with no family, no friends, no job, no place to live and I had 2 beautiful girls to raise up. Looking back to those times I can see God walking along with me, taking care of the three of us in such a marvelous way, providing for us and blessing our simple life, giving us a stable future. My girls are now married and they gave me five beautiful grandchildren. They are a joy to my heart, and I feel so grateful for God's continuous blessing and care my family and me.

Today, I understand that God does not create me accidently, He never makes mistakes! I was not the child parents planned and wanted, but I was not unplanned and unwanted by God. He has a reason for everything He creates. I was created with a purpose in His mind. His amazing motive to create me is His love. In the New Testament/Injil, epistle to the Ephesians 1:4 says: "Long before he laid the foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love". I, and all Humanity, was in God's mind even before He created the whole World. Actually He created the Earth for all of us. We are the focus of His love and the most valuable of His creation! In the New Testament/Injil, Book of James 1:18, it says: "God decided to give us life through the word of truth so we might be the most important thing of all things he made" Wow! this is how much God loves and values me! He created me so He could love me! How wonderful is this truth to build my life on! I am feeling so humbled and overwhelmed by gratitude and excitement!

"God is love." says the New Testament/Injil, first book of John 4:8. Love is the essence of His character. He created me in order to express His love! In the Torah, Prophet Isaiah 46:3-4, it says: "I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of yo. I made you and I will take care of you". How great is my God/Allah Akbar!

God made me for a reason, and my life has a profound meaning! I am discovering that meaning and purpose only after I started making God the reference point of my life. The New Testament/Injil, epistle to the Romans 12:3, says: "The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us."

In my heart and mind, I wondered many times "Who am I, to deserve so much love?" I have my answer now "God created me because He loves me. He wants to have an intimate relationship with me, He wants to walk with me everyday, laugh with me, dry my tears, hug me in moments of crushing anguish, heal me in my depression, look into my eyes and see my soul overflowing with His peace, His joy, and His love. My Father in Heaven, Today I come to you empty asking You to fill me with the wonderful presence of Your spirit to guide me. I want to follow the path you have planned for me so that I can walk in the straight path that leads me to You and to an eternal life in Your presence.

SERENITY

Yesterday I felt so blessed! I had the privilege to be in a Prayer Meeting with a group of persons of peace. We prayed together for the blessing of God over the Nations. It was like if my soul was stretching to accommodate the whole World in an embrace of love and peace. I felt in that room the present of the spirit of God and I rejoiced in Him, my Creator and Ransomer.
While there I was so happy for the journey I am taking. At my own pace, God is showing me that, indeed, there is a purpose for my life and that it is wonderful because it was planned by His infinite love for me.

I ended the day with the refreshing blessing of the prayer above. Let it overtake me! Let my soul rest in hope! Let my heart rejoice for I am truly blessed by God!

FINDING REST IN MY GOD

It is so important that I can be myself, sincere and spontaneous without any fear of being vulnerable, of being known. It is so freeing! It is like flying way above the mountains in the freedom of the infinite space.

It really doesn't matter what others think of me. I need to love who I am in the straight path of recovery and change in my way to Eternity. A long way is walked by me one step at a time, and all I need is to be me in the moment of each step, holding the strong hand of my Father in Heaven. He is my Refuge, my Security in the storms of life. I have no fear of the darkness of the times because His spirit is guiding me through the way I cannot yet see.

Although, sometimes, I feel the overwhelming negativity wrapping me, my soul cry out to the promise of protection and deliverance and I chose to trust in the indescribable infinite love of my Creator and Savior. And in the midst of raging waves, my heart is covered by His peace. And I rest and wait in Him.

"IT ALL STARTS WITH GOD"

I finished reading the 1st chapter of the book, and I understood that my concerns about me and others were so much based on what I was thinking about myself. But it is not about me, my goals, my dreams, my future, or who I want to be! God created me and so He is the only One Who knows why He formed me in the womb of my mother. Trying to ask myself or others why I exist, does not make any sense. When I got my tablet, to take full advantage of it, I needed to read its Manual. Its inventor is the only one who is able to explain to me how it works. Therefore, I understand that God created me for a purpose and only He can reveal to me why He brought me into existence.

It may sound strange, but this understanding gave me a sense of freedom. I was burdening myself, demanding so much of myself, frustrated, disappointed with my inadequacy of becoming better, less guilty, to a point that I ended up being diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder last week. It was when I questioned: what is the purpose of my life? Why all this suffering in my life? Then I felt the need to come closer and closer to God talking to Him all day long. My Doctor gave me a medicine for my MDD that has very serious side effects. I am taking it, but feeling afraid of it (I am going to talk to my Doctor again this coming Monday). Then yesterday it just came to my mind this book wish was mentioned to me a year ago. When I started to read it today, I strongly felt that God was shining light over a way that was before me and I could not see.

Life is wonderful. Its purpose is greater and deeper than my own personal fulfillment, peace of mind or happiness, my family, dreams or desires of my heart. Life is about living for God! (not myself!)

I need to begin with God, my Creator. I was made by and for Him. In Him, I will discover my beginning, my identity, my purpose, my value. Any other way has been a dead end.

I used to ask my loved ones and friends why was I living when I was feeling depressed. I even wished to die before the overwhelming questions I had. But I never asked God, my Creator! It is amazing how I was going to another imperfect human being who were not able to answer me, instead of God Himself Who is y Creator! I now understand that in His Word there are the answers my soul is seeking! I was blind to see it. Now I see the need to build my life in His Eternal Truth, not worldly philosophy, success-motivation or inspirational stories. When God created me He left in me a longing for Him, because only in Him, the purpose of my life, I will be free and whole. I am so happy I see it now!

His Word says: (Ephesians 1:11a)
"It is in Him that we find out who we are and what we are living for."

and (Colossians 1:16b)
"Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him."

THE VIDEO OF CHAPTER ONE

If you do not have the book and you are interested, please click on the link below to listen about the first chapter. Thank you

VIDEO #1

THE BOOK I AM READING "THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE"

I started today (9Oct2015) to read this book as my quest to find the purpose of my life. I believe in God, my Creator and Saviour. I believe I was created by Him, but I realized that I was trying to discover the purpose of my life through others'opinions about me, within myself and this is the wrong path. Focusing on others or in myself, I will never discover the purpose of my life. I did not create myself, so I have no way I can say to myself the reason why I am here. Only my Creator knows why I exist. I need to begin with Him. Only God can show me my origin, my true and only identity, the meaning and purpose of my life, my value and my destiny.

I created this page because I want to share with you, my journey.